With great power comes great “reeshponsuhbiluhtay”

I was once asked why I only read the odd and bizarre news.

The reason is because the standard news is nothing but politics and things that make me want to eat a brick.

There’s no real blog today. Just random ranting. (most of it unfounded because I couldn’t be arsed to actually research and backup my opinions. Deal with it!)

I can has alty-mate-ums?.....

Honestly I believe that this is a great tool/idea that could go horribly wrong.

In the words of a good friend, “sites like MySpace and Facebook are nothing but places to whore yourself out”. And I believe him. Because I have a MySpace page… and I’m a whore. I should probably go touch up my MySpace photos with a few fresh “shirtless in the bathroom” pics.

Ok, I’m not really a whore, but for the right price… and you’re a hot chick….. (What?! I’m in need of the cash and I could use a little play too.)

While this addition to Facebook would be a great addition for activists and people looking to do some good in the world, I think it will ultimately be wasted. Lets face it. The majority of the people on Facebook (and MySpace) are of the “lolcats” variety, children, morons, or webcam wenches. (I’m probably one of those…. Or all of them. I’m not sure. And I’m whore also.) Think about it. Their main motivators for having these accounts are to whore themselves out, regurgitate the latest internet meme, and try to get laid. Now imagine giving them this potentially useful tool. Sure some of you out there (probably not me) would use this nifty “Ultimatum” tool for the betterment of the world. Or at least you’d use it intelligently (once again… not me). But then there’s the drooling masses. Place this tool in their grimy hands and you know it will only be used for drama and lolcats. With ultimatums like, “if enough people sway in my favor then the action is that all the hot chicks on my friend list have hot steamy sex with me. If they sway in the other direction then the action is that three of them get with me”. (That’s actually not a bad idea. But how to implement it? I know! I’ll start a Facebook account and use that Ultimatum thingie!)

Just remember kiddies. With great power comes great “reeshponsuhbiluhtay”.

Proof that the past will haunt you….

Holy crap! It’s like the Butterfly Effect in real life!

But really folks, the guy is 71. There’s not much you’re going to get out of him at this point. Now I have to make sure that the chicken nugget I threw away at lunch time doesn’t somehow land me in jail fifty years from now. (by the way, there’s a sequel to the aforementioned movie that I’m avoiding like the plague. If you’ve seen it let me know how it is.)

How freaking big are the poop chutes in India?!....

Ok, I may not be a doctor… but my dad is an ObGyn, which makes me an expert by proxy. All I have to say is, “What the hell happened to the umbilical chord?!”.

This will turn into one of those odd baby stories the parents tell the boyfriend or fiancé. “Yeah, we found her on the train tracks… after she fell in the toilet.”

I can’t really fault the mother though. The baby was 3 months premature. That and every time I have Indian food things slide right out of me too.

Japan is so freaking cool… and scary at the same time…

I don’t have much to say about this one. You can laugh if you want to but think about your mom. Think about the times when you were a kid where she seemed like an unstoppable force of your impending doom. Think about the times where sweet lovable mom scared the shit out of you. Now put boxing gloves on that.

Yeah, moms are scary.