Look out! It's Random Man!

This is mainly randomness here.

Today sports guy comes to me and tells me that he keeps hearing a knocking at his window and doesn’t know what it is. My first assumption was, “It’s probably a bird attacking its reflection. Birds are dumb like that”. And I would be right. Moments later sports guy returns raving about how it’s a cardinal. Again and again sports guy returns to tell me about the knocking cardinal. I believe it was a total of 5 times he told me about it. And if I count the times he’s told each and ever coworker individually I’ve heard the story a total of 14 times. So sports guy gets the bright idea of doing something to make sure the cardinal doesn’t return. He recalled how his parents would put plastic owl statues in their windows to keep birds away. His magnificent idea is to put an action figure on the window sill outside. I’ve heard this part of the story a total of 6 times now. He’s even pulled me into his office to show me his achievement. I haven’t the heart to tell him that I couldn’t care less about the damn bird knocking or the action figure deterrent. But at least he’s not talking to me about sports today. Small favors I guess.

I think that the bird wasn’t actually attacking its reflection. I believe it was actually trying to get to sports guy. But being that birds are notoriously dumb it was going the hard way about it, through the glass. Eventually the killer cardinal will catch on to sports guy’s plan. One day sports guy will find his action figure pooped on and when he steps outside the cardinal will carry out its insidious assassination plot. Look out sports guy! Cardinals are red for a reason!

And now I will entertain you with pictures of my car accident from years back. (I was speeding down a road called Red Run Blvd. And now I know why it’s called that.) I don’t really remember much from it but I do remember how simple my thought processes became during the ordeal.

“Oh man! I’m headed for the curb. It’ll be alright. It might mess the car up a little.”

“World go spinning?” (this was when the car hit the curb and began to roll like a log. I was told that it rolled 4 times before coming to rest on its top.)

“I need a nap. Here good.” (This is when I woke up upside down, undid my seatbelt, crawled half way out of the car, and settled in for a nice nap in the grass.)

I woke up as people were rushing about asking me questions. There was a man with the thickest mustache I have ever seen cradling my head and smiling down on me. It was comforting and creepy all at the same time. So I learned that people hit you with a barrage of questions that seem simple to answer normally but after an accident you end up stumbling like a one legged mentally disabled kid in a dark room filled with awkwardly placed furniture with the promise of pudding at the end. I also learned that after you answer their questions they won’t answer yours. I don’t know how many times I asked “what happened?” and got silence as a reply. That just makes everything worse. Especially when you try to get up and they instantly freak and keep you pinned. For an hour or so I thought maybe I had lost a leg or I was horribly mutilated from the waist down. My mother and sister arrived shortly after I was loaded into a helicopter to be air lifted to a hospital. (How awesome is that?!) Mom discovered that she could outrun my sister if she needed to. The roads had been blocked off a ways away from the scene and without hesitation my mother broke into a crazed sprint. My sister confessed later that she had a hard time keeping up with my mother. (I’d like to state that at the time my sister was in high school and playing soccer. She was and is a very physically fit person. Mom was in her late 40’s and not very physically fit. Adrenaline does wonderful things.)

You can find some of the hospital incident here. It’s located in the rant about hospitals, doctors, and underwear.

So anyway… here’s the few photos we have from the incident.

But wait! There's more random stuff!

This is a picture of my rabbit Skitters when she was just a wee baby.
I'm actually just putting this hear so someone can look at it and say, "Awwww so cute!".
Skitters is a little sweetheart who seems to have developed an identity crisis. She believes that she's a puppy. The little fuzz-bit gets terribly excited when people are around, follows you through a room, and licks hands. Yes, you read that correctly. She licks hands to show affection.