Why did I start this blog?
It’s a therapy thing mostly.
You see throughout this year I had quite a few “interesting” moments. The type of moments that leave you damn close to weeping or going on a murderous rampage. Hell, who am I kidding? My whole life has been full of WTF, with a generous portion of surreal, and dash of lime for seasoning.
I had been reading my friend’s blog, "Your biting sarcasm wounds me, Madam...", for a while. You should check it out. She’s quite feisty. So while I was reading her blog I realized that I wanted to start my own blog. To post all the odd and quirky things I’ve been through, yet use it for therapy. To write about all the things plaguing me without all the “woe is me” crap you’ll find in some over privileged emo kid’s MySpace blog. (By the way I have one of those… a MySpace blog.. full of woe is me crap. It came with an emo kid instructional video on how to blog as if everything in my life was catastrophic. I don’t use it much, because I realized that I’m a bit too old to blog about how my parents don’t understand me or how I’m crushing on a girl who doesn’t know I exist.) so I figured out that I didn’t want to do a blog that was nothing but weepy sad sack prattling. I decided that I wanted to take the epically shitacular scenes in my life and just outright make fun of them. Why? Well because it’s my form of therapy. That and whenever I tell my “friends” about these scenarios they end up laughing. And I’m not talking about chuckling. I mean fall the floor, soil yourself, can’t breathe, most likely going to herniated everything style laughter. But before you get all sorts of critical and say that maybe my friends aren’t such good friends, laughing at how my girlfriend dumped me while we were on vacation together for a week, I’d like to add that I don’t blame them for laughing. Because I’m funny! I’m freaking hilarious! Admit it! Your mom thinks I’m hilarious. (oohhh… 5th grade humor right there. That’s how comedic I am.) “Only in bed.” (Oh snap! I added a 6th grade humor come back for you. Yeah, I’m that damn funny.)
So you’ve most likely noticed the name of this blog, Overlord Complex. I’m betting you’re wondering why I named it that. Well it’s simple, and I’m not about to explain it to you. Because the sooner you realize that I’m your overlord and you are all my minions the better off we’ll all be. Go ahead and begin bathing me in your worship and abhorrence…. Uh.. I mean adoration. Yes, adoration, because everyone loves me. Love me or else I will smite you all! (Eh… maybe I’ll explain the reason for the name later.)
Throughout this wonderful excursion we’ll call my blog you’ll find many grammatical mistakes. Some of them are accidental and some on purpose. You’ll wonder why. And my answer is, “Because I’m so much more intelligent than you, you’ll never understand why!”. Actually it’s because Grammar and I aren’t getting along. I hurt Grammar. I slap Grammar around and make it my dirty bitch. I do things to Grammar that make it feel dirty and used. I do terrible unmentionable things to Grammar. When I walk into the room with 40 oz. of cheep beer in hand, decked out in my wife-beater, Grammar cowers in the corner and wets itself uncontrollably. Because Grammar knows what’s in store for it. If it weren’t for my word processor’s protective services Grammar would most likely be face down in a shallow grave by now.
Actually Grammar is my evil angry bitch of a wife. It busts my balls and wrings me dry every chance it gets. So if you ever see any grammatical mistakes feel free to let me know. I’ll take anything to keep Grammar from kicking me in the ass and telling me about how much of a lazy bastard I am.
So with that all said feel free to send me emails. Questions, comments, or whatever. I welcome them all. Hell, send me hate mail. I love that stuff. It’s like the toffee filling to my chocolate coated kitten heads!
No no.. I kid. I’d never eat toffee filled chocolate coated kitten heads. The toffee and chocolate coating are just too fattening. Mmmm kitten heads. Well anyway, here’s my e-mail address…
Look forward to more from me.
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3 comments:
Yay!
Unfortunately, my mother does not, in fact, find you very funny.
It's probably nothing personal.
That's too bad. I was sure your mother thought me to be a comedic legend in the making.
Maybe it was something I did or said.
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